4Kids no Go
by ComputerNerd
Summary: 4Kids TV attempts to sabotage the plot of one of the greatest anime of all time. Only VIZ Media can stop them.


It was the year 2006, and the last episode of "Hikaru no Go" had been aried in Japan three years ago. Now TV Tokyo was in a meeting to discuss the English dub of the anime. With them were two competing companies: VIZ Media and 4Kids TV. Also present were Hotta Yumi (author of Hikaru no Go), Obata Takeshi (graphic designer) and Umezawa Yukari (technical advisor for specific game information, and professional 5dan Go player).

"Basically, we can dub Hikaru no Go without editing the plot, and it will still be mostly appropriate for all ages," said Fukuhara Hidemi, the CEO of VIZ Media. "There is only one problem, and that is the use of cigarettes."

Fukuhara then repeated himself in Japanese, since not everyone in the room spoke both English and Japanese.

"We can take care of that," said Al Kahn, the CEO of 4Kids. "We are experts at digitizing out inappropriate material."

Fukuhara translated this statement into Japanese.

"So as long as you edit out the cigarettes and nothing else, Hikaru no Go can be aired during the day in America?" asked the CEO of TV Tokyo, Shimada Masayuki.

Fukuhara translated the question into English, and continued to translate back and forth throughout the meeting.

"Well..." said Kahn. "There are some other details that we think are unsuitable for children."

_I was afraid of that,_ thought Hotta.

"Let me guess," said Fukuhara. "You're going to replace the entire game of Go with chess or something."

"Of course not!" said Kahn. "That would destroy the plot entirely!"

_Don't you do that all the time?_ thought Shimada.

"All we want to do is change around a few names and places," said Kahn.

"Meaning that Hikaru no Go will take place in America?" said Fukuhara.

"Pretty much," said Kahn.

"What about all the scenes that take place all over the world, and not just Japan?" asked Hotta.

"Simple. The United States is a big place, but in the anime, the only part of it that makes an appearance is New York. In our version it will stay that way, while all the scenes that take place in Japan will instead take place in California."

"What about Korea?" asked Obata. "How will you explain Hikaru and Hong Su-yong not speaking each other's language?"

"Easily," said Kahn. "Su-yong will come from Texas instead of Korea, speak Spanish, and his name will be changed to Carlos. He will visit California where he runs into Hikaru, whom we'll call Charlie."

Everyone else struggled to keep their exasperation under control.

"Another thing that we need to censor is death," continued 4Kids. "It doesn't happen very often in the anime, but we can't allow the sight of Shusaku's blood on the Go board. Not to mention Sai committing suicide. We'll keep the flashback with Sai's rival cheating, then framing Sai as a cheater. Sai will be banished, but he won't drown himself two days later. Instead he'll spend the rest of his long life feeling depressed. As for Shusaku, he will also live a long and complete life, with Sai's ghost by his side. And then there's Toya Meijin..."

"He didn't die!" objected Fukuhara.

"He might have, if his heart attack had been a bit stronger," said Kahn. "So we'll change the heart attack to a simple cold, so as not to frighten the children watching the anime."

"Is that all?" asked Yumi.

"One more thing," said Kahn. "The computers at the computer salon that Hikaru/Charlie goes to are all iMacs. Everybody knows that Microsoft Windows is the supreme operating system."

Fukuhara coughed into his hand, but the cough sounded suspiciously like "baka!"

"I've made my decision," said Hotta. "The license to dub my anime will go to VIZ Media."

"No fair!" said Kahn. "You didn't even give us a chance!"

"Yes I did," said Hotta. "I heard out your ideas, along with those of VIZ Media. And I chose my preference."

"I object!" said Kahn. "There's only one way to settle this: with an actual game of Go. The winner will win the rights to dub the anime."

"I don't play Go much," said Fukuhara.

"Neither do I," said Kahn. "So we're even."

"Let's make it more interesting," said Hotta. "Each side will find a strong player to represent him."

"I choose Umezawa," said Kahn.

"You can't just choose her without her consent!" said Fukuhara.

"You're right," said Umezawa. "I choose to represent VIZ Media."

_Umezawa Sensei may not be the strongest Go player on the planet,_ thought Hotta, _but Kahn will never find a stronger player who's willing to fight for the cause of 4Kids._

_

* * *

_

A week later, Kahn was ready for the face-off. His representative was a six-year-old-boy with semi-long bushy brown hair that completely covered his ears.

Everyone else stared at Kahn and the kid.

"He may not look like much," said Kahn, "but he's 7dan. And Umezawa is only 5dan!"

Umezawa and the kid sat down and randomly chose for color using the _nigiri_ method. The kid played black, thereby playing the first move.

"Onegaishimasu," said Umezawa.

"Get your game on!" said the kid.

Umezawa could tell by the way the kid played that he did indeed have a lot of strength. Kahn, however, was the only one present who knew the truth: a camera on the ceiling above the board and a wireless earphone on the kid's ear. Kahn's excuse for the camera was to keep video record of the game as proof that it took place. As for the earphone, nobody could see it under the kid's hair.

Meanwhile, in 4Kids headquarters, an employee was playing Go on the Internet while watching the game and speaking into a microphone that was streamed to the kid's earphone. Whenever Umezawa made a move, the 4Kids employee played the same move on the Internet. And whenever the 7dan Internet player made a move, the kid would make the same move against Umezawa.

It was a tough game. Fortunately, Umezawa was able to maintain a slight lead throughout the game, which slowly grew larger.

Back in the 4Kids headquarters, a dialog box appeared on the screen, indicating that the 7dan player had resigned.

"Um, resign," said the 4Kids employee into the microphone.

"Huh?" said the kid.

"Bow your head and say, 'I resign.'"

The kid bowed his head. "I resign."

"What?" said Kahn. "How could this be?"

"Is he really 7dan?" Hotta asked Umezawa.

"On the non-professional scale, I'd say he is," answered Umezawa.

"Oh," laughed Hotta.

"What's going on?" asked Kahn.

Umezawa explained the situation to Fukuhara in Japanese, who then explained to Kahn in English.

"The 'dan' rating is ambiguous. There's the amateur dan rating, which ranges from 1dan to 7dan and immediately follows the kyu range of ratings. Most professional Go players are stronger than 7dan, but have a rating on a scale that is also called 'dan,' and it ranges from 1dan to 9dan."

"Oh, shell," said Kahn.

Nobody found out about 4Kids' gig on the Internet, but it didn't matter. VIZ Media had secured the license to dub Hikaru no Go.


End file.
